


love's not fabricated

by foggynelson



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Autistic Character, M/M, Trans Character, will i ever write characters that arent trans and autistic??? i wish i knew
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: Davey's not? He's never been good at things like feelings and emotions but? When it comes to Jack Kelly? Things make a little more sense.





	love's not fabricated

**Author's Note:**

> Should I be starting a new fic? No. Is this happening anyway? Yes. 
> 
> Lots of thanks and shout outs to by bud [Ryan](https://neon-ryan.tumblr.com/) on tumblr for all the help. 
> 
> Song from Brighten's Let Love Be which is definitely a javid song.

Davey’s never…. Like, he’s not.... It’s just…

Okay. It’s like this: Davey was diagnosed as autistic as a child. His parents were great, getting him a therapist that helped him, but didn’t try and change everything about him. His family was accepting. His siblings were so good to him. And, like, yeah. Davey’s okay with being autistic. It’s a part of him and it’s like. Whatever. It’s how it is. And that’s fine. It’s _fine_.

Sometimes, though, Davey doesn’t _feel_ like it’s okay. Like, when he’s out and he trips over something small or when he gets excited and he can’t stop himself from flapping or when he meets someone new and he needs to say the Right Thing but he never knows what the right thing is so instead he says nothing or talks too much about journalism or flowers.

But like, it’s fine. It is. Davey isn’t one to complain. So many people have it so much worse than he does. It’s just… sometimes it’s a lot to deal with and Sarah and Les are great, of course, but they don’t get it. Les has adhd and gets some aspects, but it’s not the same. 

Being trans and gay doesn’t help either. And there are other mental things that Davey knows are there but hasn’t bothered addressing it. It just… it’s a lot. It’s one thing to be trans. It’s one thing to be gay. It’s one thing to be autistic. But Davey feels like it’s a whole other level to be all of them like he’s too much, more than any one person should be.

Today was just. One of those days. One of those days where all the small things that could go wrong went wrong and Davey has no spoons, no energy when he gets home. He sends a text to Sarah asking if she can just order some pizza for dinner, apologizing because it was supposed to be his night to cook. He feels guilty when she replies with “of course.” 

He lies down on his bed, face first into his pillow. He lays like that for a few minutes before he sits up long enough to take his shirt and binder off. He lies back down, this time pulling his weighted blanket on top of him. He knows he should do something self care wise, something to make him feel better, but he’s tired and everything feels like Too Much.

Davey hears Sarah come home a bit later. She knocks on the door and tells him that the pizza will be here soon. Davey opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. He tries a couple more times, but there’s still nothing and he gives up. He pulls the covers over his head and wonders what it would be like to never leave.

It’s a half hour later when Sarah texts him, “you okay? :(“ 

Davey feels even worse, but he replies, “Long day. Sorry. Thank you. I love you.”

“sorry bro. i’m here if you need me. i found a cool instagram you might like. it’s full of paint mixing videos? i know you like those,” Sarah replies a few minutes later, accompanied by a link to an instagram bio. Davey pulls it up and finds video after video of paint mixing. Davey can’t help but smile.

That’s one thing Davey’s loved recently - all these stim videos. He loves the slime videos, the paint mixing, the crunchy bubble things, the sand, everything. It’s so soothing. Davey presses play on the first video and watches. It’s a pallet of yellow, white, and orange. It’s bright and light and Davey feels a little bit better. He watches the next and then the next and then the next, smiling a little wider at each video, feeling a bit better as the time goes on.

Davey doesn’t have much on his instagram account. Sarah made him get it. It’s a few selfies and mostly just flowers. Lots of flowers. His followers are basically his family and a few of his friends. With a few exceptions, that’s all he follows as well. But he quickly follows this account, excited to see more videos.

And then Davey sees a link in the description labeled personal account and Davey can’t help but click on it. Davey’s breath hitches in his throat when he sees the account. The person - Jack, as it seems he’s named - is… beautiful? And Davey normally doesn’t call men beautiful as it’s a word he doesn’t care to be applied towards himself but… Davey can’t find another word that fits as well. He is. Absolutely beautiful.

Davey scrolls through that account quicker than he had the other one. There’s a mixture of things: selfies, food, an occasional meme, pictures of friends, pictures of paintings he’s done. It’s breathtaking. Literally. Every post seems to be better than the last. Or at least that’s the case until he sees one that Davey knows is the best.

It’s Jack, his arm around another person. They’re both smiling and looking at each other. Jack is wearing a tank top that’s colour blocked with the trans flag and the other is wearing a similar shirt, but with the non binary flag colours. The caption reads: “Happy tdov from your favourite trans guy and non binary pal!” The smile on Jack’s face is so light and free and Davey just… Wow. He doesn’t even have words. Just fucking wow.

Davey ends up following this account as well. He feels weird about following someone he doesn't know personal account, but that doesn’t stop him. Davey continues to look through every photo, read every caption. He knows it’s a bit much, that really, he should tone it down and like… not be overly obsessed with someone he’s never spoken to. But at the same time, Davey actually feels good for the first time all day and if it’s because he’s developing a stupid crush on some guy who doesn’t know he exists, then so be it.

About a half hour later, Davey manages to pull himself out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen. Pizza is still out on the counter and Davey helps himself to a slice. He doesn’t like luke warm pizza and it feels weird in his mouth, but he doesn’t have the energy to warm it up. 

Sarah comes out a few minutes later. She smiles at him. “You doing any better?” she asks, leaning on the opposite side of the counter. She opens up the pizza box and grabs another slice herself.

Davey opens his mouth and is grateful when the words, “Yeah, little bit,” leave. It’s the truth, which is nice. He is feeling better. He’s still exhausted and doesn’t have much energy to do anything but, well, it’s better than he was before. And that definitely counts for something.

“Anything you wanna talk about?” Sarah offers. 

Davey shakes his head. “Just a long day. I’m so… sick of school. And I know I need it, I know, but I’m just. Tired.”

Sarah nods. “I get you. School was the worst. Why do you think I never went to college?”

“Because you got recruited to dance in one of the best ballet companies,” Davey replies, voice flat.

“Well, yeah, true, but I also didn’t think I could handle school anymore. I probably should have gone to Juilliard or something but I didn’t want to. It’s great that you’re doing it, though, Davey. You always were the smartest out of all of us.”

Davey winces at that, but gives Sarah a smile. He knows that she means it in a nice way. And Davey knows he’s smart. He loves to learn about things and there are a lot of topics he knows a lot of random facts about. But school is still so hard, it’s still so much work for him to be able to get things done that for an average person wouldn’t take as much effort. 

But Davey’s sick of whining and feeling sorry for himself. He turns to Sarah and asks, “How was your day?” before taking another bite of pizza. Sarah’s face lights up as she begins to talk about the dance she’s currently learning. Davey does his best to pay attention, even looking up and holding eye contact for as long as he can on occasion. Sarah seems happy and Davey is grateful for that. He loves his sister so much and he wants the best for her.

When Sarah finishes she asks, pointing at the pizza box, “You done?” Davey looks down at the box and then grabs one more slice. Sarah smiles and closes the box up, opening the fridge and placing the whole thing in there, even though there’s only three slices left. “I’m gonna watch some TV. You wanna join?” Sarah asks.

Davey shakes his head. “I think I need to just go to bed. Thank again for getting pizza and everything. I owe you big time. I’ll make whatever you want for dinner tomorrow.”

“Even shrimp?”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Even shrimp.” Sarah knows he can’t eat shrimp. They’re slimy and gross and have the worst texture and even the thought of eat them is too much. But for Sarah? He’d make them. He’d also make himself something else, but that’s not the point.

“Maybe some other time. Just make whatever you were going to make tonight. Everything you make is always good.” Sarah reaches over and pats him on the shoulder lightly. “See you in the morning. G’night.” She gets up and walks over to the living room, landing on the couch and turning the TV on.

A few minutes pass before Davey gets up and heads back to his room. He gets ready for bed, taking a shower, brushing his teeth, putting on his favourite pajama pants. He gets under the covers and feels a lump under him. He reaches under and finds his phone. He had completely forgotten about it. Turning it on, Davey is surprised to see he has a notification from instagram. He doesn’t look at it closely, just unlocks his phone and opens up the app.

And there it is. A message. No one messages him on instagram. The last time someone did it was Sarah, who had tried texting him and calling him and messaging him on facebook, but none of those had worked, so she tried instagram as well. The time before that it was some spam account who had wanted him to watch live cams of hot girls! Which Davey was not interested in on multiple levels. 

Davey clicks into his messages and is surprised to see it’s from Jack. You could have given Davey a hundred guesses about who had messaged him and not one of those guesses would have been for Jack. It made? No sense. Absolutely no sense. 

He doesn’t even click on the message to read it, just stares at Jack’s icon. It doesn’t make sense. That’s all that keeps rolling around in his head, over and over. Why would he message him? Davey hadn’t even thought about the possibility of Jack even registering that he followed him, that Davey even existed. And now? He’s messaging him? It? What? Huh?

His hands are shaking as he clicks open the message. He closes his eyes, took afraid to look. It’s stupid. Davey knows he’s being stupid and ridiculous and he’s so bad at everything and just… Davey takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

The message reads, “Thanks for following both my paint mixing account and this one. You must be a big fan of art haha.”

And Davey, looking at that picture of Jack, writes back, “I sure am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and all that. Maybe tell me what you think??? And also definitely hit me up on [tumblr](https://jaxgardnr.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/autisticperalta). I love you all omg


End file.
